Angry

I know I usually do a "Wordless Wednesday" but the past few days have been too aggravating for me to remain silent. I haven't had many spare moments lately, its been a hectic week. Between Navy medical and a roommate situation, yesterday was a complete bust. Today started off much better but then one simple email put an end to that. It seemed like everything I touched after that email tarnished, I even managed to break our DVD player in our bedroom. 

What is the "best" way to deal with anger, especially when the anger stems from something that can't be fixed? There are plenty of constructive ways to handle it. Some people go to the gym, some people meditate, and some people consume too much alcohol. For me, I clean until my hands are dried and cracked. I know every man's dream right? You can always tell how mad I have been by how clean my house is. Today I vacuumed both stories, scrubbed 2 bathrooms, dusted, mopped, and even used orange oil on the wood railing for the stairs & around the fireplace. You know its bad when I pull out the orange oil and polish. So even though I feel like I may explode at any moment my house is spotless, my daughter got a bubble bath, and the house is all quiet. 

I have to use my hands to do something when I get mad. I have quite the temper. I used to go to the gym when I was a member of a 24 hour one. I'd run on the treadmill or the elliptical until I was exhausted. But now since I have a little one that is kind of hard to do. I like to throw things too. But I've broken too many things in the past and then I get more mad because I broke something. I remember when I was a kid and I would be outside practicing my baton, I would get so angry when I couldn't get a particular trick or move down I would hurl the baton as hard as I could at the concrete or at the fence. Then I would scream. Screaming is good too. I still practice scream therapy from time to time, Little Miss finds it quite funny. I make sure not to scream at her or let her see my face when I do it, I don't want her to think my anger is directed towards her. I guess as long as she laughs that means she doesn't think I'm mad at her. 


I hope the rest of the week gets better, my house is as clean as it could possibly get! I feel bad complaining about my week too, especially when so many have it worse. I know when life hands you lemons you are supposed to make lemonade. Well, I am not to that point yet where I am ready to make lemonade. I just want to be mad and hurl lemons for awhile.