Wow has it really been 10 days since my last post? My days have been so busy but its been great. I've actually taken time to do things for ME: I got 2 manicures and finally got my hair cut & colored. My parents have spoiled me rotten by taking care of Kailyn. Its going to be hard to go back home this week, go back to all my responsibilities and an empty house.
I wanted to write about how special being back home is to me, especially since Hubs deployed. This is the place we grew up, where we met, fell in love, and started our lives together. I find myself driving down familiar roads, eating at our favorite places. So many memories are here. I love reliving our "love story" but at the same time it stings because he isn't here to share it with me.
Being here has made me realize how much we have grown as a couple and how much our lives have dramatically changed! My high school 10 year reunion is right around the corner. Wow, has it already been that long? My Hubs didn't go to high school with me, so if I decide to go to the reunion I'd want him to go along. My high school years were very formative and influenced who I am now. I am definitely not the same shy, quiet person I was back then. I have much more confidence in myself. I am so much more happy! I had some great times in high school, but man it was tough at times. I made some mistakes, had to learn some hard lessons: having "friends" back-stab you, have rumors spread about you, have boyfriends brag about their conquests. Those were rough. I also had great times, I wouldn't trade those band trips to Panama City Beach for anything! I think if Hubs met the girl I was back then, he would be pretty astonished. But looking back at all of it, I am glad it all happened. It was hard at the time, being a teenager sucks and I would never want to relive it. But I would never want to change my experience either. Maybe Hubs will be back in time so we can go to the reunion :)
It was because of an old high school relationship that kind of forced me to get to know Hubs in college. Hubs and I had classes together for a couple of semesters and we were even in the same study groups. We never really spoke about anything other than upcoming tests. A new semester started and as luck would have it, we had "Greek & Roman Mythology" together. A former high school boyfriend of mine also was in the class. I desperately wanted to avoid sitting next to him all semester, so I sat next to Hubs since I kind of knew him. From that moment on we were pretty inseparable, but as friends. See, we were both dating other people. That semester we also had 2 other classes together, Latin II and Organic Chemistry. Yucky. I HATE Organic Chemistry and I had a hard time with it, like a really hard time. Even though Hubs spent countless hours tutoring me (he's a frickin smartie!), I ended up dropping the class. But he promised to help me again when I retook the class over the summer. His relationship ended and he was enjoying the single life that summer. But he still made time to help me just like he promised. That summer we had many lunch dates studying. We had many late nights studying. He wasn't even taking the class but he would spend crazy hours helping me. During that summer, I ended my long term relationship as well. I also passed Organic Chemistry with a B! My class ended and our study sessions were done. But we still were spending time together. I didn't want to jump into another relationship, that is not my style. Hubs asked me to date him exclusively and I actually told him no! I wanted to date for a while, be single. He said okay, but he wasn't going to date anyone else because he was waiting for me. So me being "single" lasted all of maybe 2 weeks and then I realized that I only wanted him :)
Soon I'll be making my trip back to VA and I'll be leaving all of this behind again to be relived next time I come back this way. This has made me impatient for Hubs return home. I can hardly wait until he comes back so we can make some more memories together. Because no matter how much time has passed, it only seems like yesterday we were driving down Burbank Ave. to LSU campus in that blue mustang...
Time for Thursday Five! Head here to link up!
Fabulous
Satisfying
Amazing
Sweet
Jubilant
- I am feeling Fabulous after getting spoiled while on vacation! I got my eyebrows waxed (first time in a year!), treated myself to a mani & pedi, bought myself some new clothes for warmer weather, and I even get to sleep in!
- There are few things more Satisfying than making my parents happy!
- It is Amazing how quickly time if flying by, I have been here over a week already so my vacation is halfway over :(
- Little Miss is being so Sweet it is making it hard to tell her NO!
- I am Jubilant that Little Miss will get to experience her first Mardi Gras parade on Saturday if the weather behaves! I bought an ergo baby carrier so we can carry her around easier and I am anxious to try it out.
I've been trying to find to "positives" in my life right now since I'm going through my first deployment. To make light of the situation, I have started making a list of MY Pros & Cons. So I'll start with the funniest list first, the Pros:
- My day to day doesn't have to coincide with a duty schedule. I hate it when I rushed home in hopes that he would come home early or on time!
- Less laundry to do! Especially the stinky laundry off the ship, why does Hubs always come home smelling like steel? Does he rub up against the ship or something?
- The tank on the gas guzzler Avalanche will not have to be filled every week! We can all breathe a little easier and environmentalists have one less thing to worry about.
- Someone else gets to deal with Hubs snoring, sorry guys in 21-man berthing. Learn to wear ear plugs, its the best way to sleep through it. He snores no matter what side he is laying on so good luck!
- Razor blades will last longer than one shave! Hubs shaves his head so the cost of blades really adds up quick.
- I don't have to shave my legs until it warms up now! I know, I know you all wanted to know that. I only have peach fuzz on my legs anyways but still I don't have to shave now until the weather warms up enough to wear shorts!
- Deployment makes me feel like a teenager in love! Every time my cell phone rings, my heart jumps hoping it might be him. I've gotten 3 phone calls so far and I know I won't be receiving too many more since they are so darned expensive. Every time I open my email account and I see an email from him, I am just giddy.
- Having to communicate via email has made us better at communicating in general. It also have given us both the chance to write love letters, something that seems like an ancient practice now-a-days! I am enjoying the jolt this deployment has brought to our love life. After having Little Miss, so much of our life is consumed by her and rightfully so. We are having to learn to balance her needs with ours but like most parents, we put her needs first and unfortunately haven't made much time for ourselves.
- Deployment has made me appreciate what I have so much more. Not that I didn't appreciate Hubs before, but going through this really shows all the little things he does for me on a daily basis that I have taken for granted. Hubs and I are so busy in our daily lives that some things get brushed aside but now that we are apart we are forced to make time for each other. Even if its just an email, those words can last a lifetime.
- We are getting to work on issues and prove our relationship is solid. I don't worry if he is going to cheat when he is in port or when he is at sea. I don't worry that is going to get drunk and do something stupid because we have been there & done that, we both learned. When I don't get an email, I don't worry because I know its because he doesn't have time. He's not lying to me and going to play video games in the lounge. Though I do wonder from time to time if he's working out at the gym too much instead of emailing me! Now that isn't a concern since he now is limited due to an injury that needs surgery.
Now for the not so fun list, MY con's:
- No matter how many pro's there are, they will never make up for the fact that he isn't here. I miss him, Little Miss misses him. I would gladly take smelly laundry and crazy schedules over having him gone. Ok deployment you have gone on far long enough you can end now alright?
Project Gratitude Day 57:
I am grateful my niece just has an ear infection and not anything worse!
Isn't it beautiful! I am so excited about how it turned out. The tattoo artist I dealt with, Nemo, is amazing with the old school/traditional tattoos. I came up with the original sketch, it took me 3 years! But Nemo "tweaked" it and added his special touches.
The swallow stands for loyalty and fidelity, they choose a mate for life and will only nest with that bird and no other. One of the hearts is for Hubs and the other is for Little Miss. The nautical star represents a deployment and I'll add another star with each deployment.
I have been thinking this whole tattoo thing over for 3 years now. I've always wanted a bird of some sort because if I could be any animal, it would be a bird. I would love to be able to fly! Over the years I've added all the little things and pieced it all together so it would be packed with meaning and significance. The drawing has changed over the years, at one point there was an anchor incorporated into it. After we decided not to re-enlist in the Navy I decided to do away with the anchor idea. Its been about 6 months since I've changed up the sketch so I figured it was about time to put it on my body.
I know most swallows are traditionally blue. This is a male swallow which doesn't have all the blue. Plus, it makes my swallow different from alot of the other ones out there. This was a very personal decision for me to get this tattoo. I didn't get it to show off to everyone, though right now I don't mind showing off something so artistic! This tattoo will be covered up unless I am in a bikini. I know one day I'll be working again (hopefully as a nurse!) and I know that tattoo's being visible in the workplace is generally a no-no.
I asked around for recommendations before I came home to visit, and decided to check out this place. I came in to discuss my tattoo because I didn't want to show up and be like, "I want a tattoo do it now". I showed Nemo my sketch and told him what I wanted. He told me to come in later that day and he would work on it for me. When I came back, we discussed the tattoo, decided on the sketch, and made the stencil for it. I was a bit nervous because it was bigger than I had intended but I couldn't imagine getting all the detail if it were any smaller. It took 3 hours from start to finish. We took 2 breaks: once after the outline and once after the red & black shading. I haven't decided which is worse, the outline or the shading. To be honest, it wasn't as bad as I thought. It was uncomfortable and whenever the needle was near my hip bone or my ribs I won't lie I let out a few choice words. Overall, it wasn't a bad experience as far as pain goes. From my perspective, if you've had a baby and haven't had the epidural until you were 7 cm dilated then the tattoo isn't any worse. If anyone is in the Baton Rouge area, I recommend Nemo over at Burning Lotus Tattoo and Piercing!
