Where My Wandering Thoughts Take Me

Tonight my family was invited over to our minister's house for dinner. While dinner was cooking, they took Little Miss and I for a ride on the golf cart around the neighborhood. While we were carting around the neighborhood and I was looking at all the houses I was thinking about the "normal" sort of lives the people that live in those houses have.

To me, this means everyday the mom & dad go to work or maybe one of them stays home, the kids go to school, dinner is prepared, kids come home to do homework, dad comes home and is greeted by a kiss from his wife and hugs from his kids. They eat together around a dinner table and talk about what happened at school, what happened at work. They spend time together as a family, the kids go to bed and the parents steal a few moments for themselves before going to sleep. Then rinse and repeat, every day.

At first, I was envious about their monotonous, dependable routine. How nice it must be to be able to plan for weeks or months ahead. To be able to depend on dad being there to attend school functions, take the kids to soccer practice, take care of household repairs, and take his wife out for an occasional dinner date. Then I thought about how boring that might get, how they must be so used to seeing each other every day that they probably take it all for granted, they probably don't realize how lucky they have it. That is something I won't have to worry about. After these back to back deployments, my husband and I truly know how important and valuable our time together really is. We also know how much of a waste it is to worry about the small stuff. We know how to keep our love alive while we spend months apart.

How many people get the chance to fall in love with their partner all over again? That is one opportunity that these deployments have given me. We have been forced to prove our love for one another without physical touch. Without being able to pick up the phone and instantly be in contact or shoot a quick text. Our time apart could be the excuse for our bond to deteriorate, instead it has only made us grow stronger as a couple. Hubs has proven to me time and time again that he is just as deeply in love with me as I am with him. And he manages to do that through emails and a handful of phone calls. From thousands of miles away, I know he has my back. He is still my shoulder to cry on, though I do miss his arms swallowing me in a hug.

It was startling to realize how different life is here compared to life in a military community like Hampton Roads. If I would have made this cart ride down a neighborhood street in Virginia Beach, chances are those families are going through a deployment or preparing for one. It is also crazy to think that someday soon, we will be civilians. It will be the start of a whole new lifestyle for us. Though I welcome the day Hubs starts to come home every night and have our kids (yup, that means more than one something we need to work on once he gets home...) tackle him as he walks through the door on a daily basis, I know we will never be one of those "normal" families. We have been through so much as a military family and I thank God for all the lessons we have learned so early on to prepare us for whatever lies ahead.

I love my sailor so much and I think about him all the time. Even at seemingly mundane time like a golf cart ride through suburbia, my thoughts always seem to come back to him. 

Care Package Madness!

Am I considered "crazy" if I send out so many care packages they are as tall as my toddler? If so, then I never want to be sane muahahahahaha!

*Okay, not all of those boxes are care packages (only the 3 in the middle of the pile!)*

My goal this deployment is to send a care package for every pay check. Well, he left on the 11th and I haven't sent out a box yet so I am already behind! Of course this box is filled mostly with stuff he forgot. He only packed one pair of pants for port visits, so I obviously had to send another pair. I don't know how often he does laundry but I can only assume it is only when absolutely necessary. He left a shaker bottle here and since he manages to go through those like candy, I figured he has probably already lost the first one. He left his sunglasses and a towel. I also filled the box with lots of goodies, like his favorite hard candies and some pictures of us on our Disney World vacay. In fact, this box has a bit of a Disney theme to it. I wanted him to open it up and think of something happy (like our recent Disney vacay), so I painted the flaps red and had Little Miss cover them with Mickey Mouse stickers. While I was at WalMart I came across these simple 5X7  plastic frames with a magnet on the back and I thought they would be perfect to hang on his rack, so I picked my favorite 2 photos from vacation for the frames. I hope he is happy when he opens it!

Then I made an "Egg Hunt" care package for his department. I filled plastic eggs with individually wrapped candy and toys like rings with bubbles, those plastic poppy caps (no idea how to better describe them!), and super stretchy plastic bunnies. 

The third box is for Hubs, he needed more of his protein shake and it comes in this HUGE container that wouldn't fit in the APO/FPO flat rate boxes. So lesson learned, I will have GNC ship it straight to him so I don't have to go searching for a box again!

Dang it, I just realized I forgot to pick up extra customs forms. We get paid again soon so its already time to start thinking about the next box!

Some helpful websites when it comes to care packages:


SKIP cares


Navy for Moms


Free Care Package from Scion!



 

 

Long Day and a Fast Cruise

Today was a day I was hoping would not come so quickly, but alas we are here: Fast Cruise. (*the ship officially released this information*) It has been less than 5 months since Hubs came home from deployment #1 and now they are gearing up for the next one. Waah.

I'm not going to lie, I am not a very happy camper at the moment but that is mostly due to sleep deprivation and this dull headache I've had for 2 days now. Had to drop Hubs off at the pier for 4:30am this morning and Little Miss has somehow managed to only sleep in the car since then so I have gotten no sleep yet. After dropping him off, I did my super sneaky mind trick where I convince myself that Hubs has duty for XX amount of time so he's not really gone. It worked so well last time, this time however Little Miss is old enough to now ask where Daddy is: That snaps me out of my make-believe fairy tale land where deployments and work-ups do not exist. Kids are so dang perceptive. Or else I am just a really bad liar because she definitely did NOT believe me when I said Daddy is at work and will be home soon. Since my realization, I've been coming up with ways on how we are going to tell Little Miss about deployments. I am hoping the Elmo video from Fleet & Family will help out alot. Yah they have an Elmo video where he is talking about his Daddy going on deployment, how perfect is that?

This is my new reality. Yes, I know deployments are inevitable and are part of the deal when you are a part of the military. That does not mean I will be 100% okay with that fact all the time, but what it does mean is this: I have to accept it. I have to figure how to help Little Miss get through another deployment. No amount of whining, crying, or moping will change the Navy's mind and let Hubs stay home (but wouldn't life be grand if it did?). In the grand scheme of life, this is really a short blip of time. While right now it looks like a mountain, years down the road I can look back and say, "That wasn't easy, but it helped me get where I am today and appreciate what I have now."


So time to put on my big girl panties and tough out another deployment. Better to prepare now instead of waiting until the ship pulls away from that pier for a long time! I guess that is what work-ups are for, they prepare the sailors and the families for what is coming up ahead.

Duty Day = Being Super Productive!

At first, I really hated duty days. It meant Hubs was gone for over 24 hours and I was left all alone (well as alone as you can be with a toddler) to entertain myself. Hah! Little did I realize duty days were a blessing in disguise because when Hubs is home, we put off most household responsibilities. Granted, if something is smelly we take care of it but not much beyond that gets accomplished. So instead of worrying about keeping the house in tip-top shape and fretting about my limited time with Hubs, I just put off housework until Duty Day. Little Miss has become very good at entertaining herself and taking naps at just the right time so I had 2 hours of uninterrupted time to clean house, fold laundry, clip coupons, make my grocery list, and shop online!  Gotta love Duty Days :)


See what I did there? I turned a negative into a positive. Yes, being apart from Hubs isn't ideal but what is complaining about it going to get me? Its just going to put me in a sour mood. Now don't get me wrong, everyone is entitled to complain about deployments, work-ups, duty days. I am not trying to take that away from anyone. However, for myself I would much rather make the best of an undesirable situation therefore allowing me to have a much better day!


Did anyone else do most of their shopping online like me? I am starting to get all the gifts in the mail and I get excited all over again about giving the gifts to my friends & family. I do not have the best track record with our local post office, they have lost 2 packages of mine and misplaced a bill from the IRS. While I am excited, I am just as nervous that my purchases will be lost in the black hole at the post office. So far so good, I've gotten 3 out of 4 gifts shipped through USPS! The last one won't be here until the beginning of December.


I cannot believe it is almost December. Wow, where did the last 5 months go? Time to put my big girl panties on and prepare for the road ahead. My plan: Keep as busy as possible! It worked before and I am sure it will work again. 


One way I am keeping busy, I am throwing my first Pampered Chef party in December! I've never hosted "one of those" sorts of parties. By no means am I a salesperson and I don't want to endorse any products that I can't stand behind. However, I own several (okay pretty much half the catalog) of their tools and I love them all. First of all, I haven't destroyed them and that says alot. I am not the kindest on my kitchenware. I've melted countless spatulas and spoon. I've morphed cookie sheets and stained sheet pans. When I replaced all of the destroyed utensils with PC stuff, they have all held up very well. On top of their durability, they have the coolest tools that make cooking super easy and quick to clean up. So I have decided in honor of hosting my first PC party, I am going to outline my favorite must-have items in an upcoming blog! 


My house is clean, I burned 1000 calories in spin class, the shopping list is ready for tomorrow, Hubs will be home super early, I think my day is done and it is time to get some much needed beauty rest!

OPSEC: Learn it, Live it, Love it!

Since the Hubs left, there is one acronym that keeps popping up all over facebook: OPSEC. When my husband was in school, I heard nothing of this. It was not until after we moved to VA that I heard of OPSEC. Of course it made total sense to me, but I have noticed lots of other people don't understand what it is and what is/isn't an OPSEC violation. This post is going to be about what I know and what I've found on the internet about OPSEC. I will be the first to admit I do not know everything on this subject. So only constructive criticism please :)

What is OPSEC?
Operations Security, or OPSEC, is keeping potential adversaries from discovering our critical information. As the name suggests, it protects our operations planned, in progress, and those completed. Success depends on secrecy and surprise, so the military can accomplish the mission faster and with less risk. Our adversaries want our information, and they don't concentrate on only Military Members to get it. They want you, the family member.

Protecting Critical Information
Even though information may not be secret, it can be what we call "critical information". Critical information deals with specific facts about military intentions, capabilities, operations or activities. If an adversary knew this detailed information, our mission accomplishment and personnel safety could be jeopardized. It must be protected to ensure an adversary doesn't gain a significant advantage. By being a member of the military family, you will often know some bits of critical information. Do not discuss them outside of your immediate family, over the telephone, and especially not on the internet!

Examples Of Critical Information

• Detailed information about the mission of assigned units.
• Details on locations and times of unit deployments.
• Personnel transactions that occur in large numbers (Example: powers of attorney, wills, deployment information).
• References to trends in unit morale or personnel problems.
• Details concerning security procedures.

Puzzle Pieces
These bits of information may seem insignificant. However, to a trained adversary, they are small pieces of a puzzle that highlight what were doing and planning. Remember, the elements of security and surprise are vital to the accomplishment of our goals and our collective personnel protection.

Where and how you discuss this information is just as important as with whom you discuss it. Adverse agents tasked with collecting information frequently visit some of the same stores, clubs, recreational areas, or places of worship as you do. You know when you chat with your hairdresser or the person giving you a manicure? To you it may seem like mindless chatter but think about who all can hear your conversation.

If anyone, especially a foreign national, persistently seeks information, notify your military sponsor immediately. He or she will notify the unit OPSEC program manager.

What Can You Do?
There are many countries and organizations that would like to harm Americans and degrade our influence in the world. It's possible, and not unprecedented, for spouses and family members of U.S. military personnel to be targeted for intelligence collection. This is true in the United States and especially true overseas! What can you do?

Be Alert
Foreign governments and organizations collect significant amounts of useful information by using spies. A foreign agent may use a variety of approaches to befriend someone and get sensitive information. This sensitive information can be critical to the success of a terrorist or spy, and consequently deadly to Americans. I would suggest cleaning up your list of facebook friends. Do you really know 1000 people well enough to trust them with the information you put out there?

Be Careful
There may be times when your spouse cannot talk about the specifics of his or her job. It's very important to conceal and protect certain information such as ship movements. All those rumors that fly around during deployment about "a change in port of calls" or "a change in schedule". While you may not be specifying EXACTLY what has changed, you are possibly letting the enemy know that something has changed. Something as simple as a phone discussion about where your spouse is deploying can be very useful to our enemies.

OPSEC IS A FAMILY AFFAIR - DISCUSS OPSEC WITH YOUR FAMILY
All family members are part of the military OPSEC team. They need to protect information to ensure the safety of all our soldiers, sailors, airman, coast guards, civilians, and their families. If you decide to share information with your family, you need to make sure they know the rules. Personally, I don't share with any of my family. Why? First of all, they are all thousands of miles away so the only way to tell them would be A) over the phone, and B) over the internet. Neither of which is a safe way to share information. My family respects the rules enough to understand that I can't share anything. They are okay with it, they'd rather my sailor be safe.

Here is a run down of what you CAN'T say:

• Current and future operations
• Travel Itineraries
• Operation planning information
• Entry/exit (security procedures)
• Capabilities and limitations. Example: My husband told me that _____ broke on the flight deck today.
• Port calls (current, future and past port calls in a current deployment)
• Readiness
• General morale
• VIP/ distinguished visitor movements
• People’s names and billets in conjunction with operations

Now for discussing past operations of a current deployment. (You can't say my husband left Spain yesterday but you can say my husband left port. You can't say my husband left for deployment yesterday because you can generalize an area off one day.) You may however post any of the above if you have a media link to prove the information has been released. Our ship has a public page. When they announced where they were in port, A LOT of people unnecessarily panicked. Ladies and Gentleman, the ship would NOT allow information to be posted if it were not safe to do so. The command WILL ALWAYS have our sailors best interests in regards to safely in mind when they choose to release information.

Guess what else is a violation? Marking halfway points or referring to how many months are left in the deployment. Also no discussing how long your SO has been extended. This includes discussing percentages left on a deployment. (example: There is only 20% left on this deployment). So those cute DaisyPath tickers you have on your facebook counting down until you are once again united with your love? OPSEC violation. Those pie charts that count down the percentage left on deployment? OPSEC violation. I have been out of college for 5 years now and I can do the reverse math to figure out from those percentage left charts when your sailor comes home. The point: It doesn't take a genius to figure out when your sailor is due home. The deployment date was publicly released and then if you have a percentage showing how much of the deployment is completed, its just simple algebra from there.

Do NOT discuss anything that has not been released yet. So your husband told you the ship's schedule has changed? Prove it before you announce it to the public. You must provide a link if it is questionable. While we are at it, you must provide a link to a reputable news source! Sorry ladies, we bloggers are NOT considered a good, time proved source of information! Do NOT speculate or spread rumors. Rumors will fly about the ships schedule. The command is committed to keeping Sailors and families informed and getting schedule updates to you as soon as practical. Flexibility is the key. Navy schedules do change but the command will keep its crew and families informed. The best way for family members to keep informed is to attend the Family Readiness Group meetings every month and to avoid listening to or spreading rumors. The command will only release official schedule updates so why rely on rumors and hearsay?

CORRECT: "My soldier is deployed in support of Iraqi Freedom or Enduring Freedom."
INCORRECT: "My soldier is in XYZ Unit and is stationed at ABC Camp in XXX city in Iraq."

INCORRECT: "Please pray for my soldier. He called today and told me he is going out on a very dangerous mission tonight."
When our sailors are in dangerous situations, it is natural to want to reach out to others. But the above statement puts your sailor in danger. You could have very well just alerted the enemy about their mission

Best piece of advice:
IF YOU'RE NOT SURE DON'T POST IT!

If you see someone has violated OPSEC, kindly message them to let them know. If they are a repeat offender, you should remind them of the consequences: deployments can be extended, communication with your sailor could be cut off (no phone calls, no emails!), and then the worst of all, being attacked by the enemy. If they don't remove their post, inform your ombudsman. 

Now please don't read this and interpret is as "Well she thinks she is just the OPSEC expert!". By no means do I feel that way. I have violated OPSEC myself unknowingly. But you better believe once it was pointed out to me, I didn't argue. I didn't send rude messages to the person who showed me my error. I apologized and then educated myself! Knowledge is power people. Knowledge will keep my sailor safe. While researching for this post I came across this: Know OPSEC. Keep OPSEC. Get over yourself. 

Navy Obstacle Course

Today has been a rough Navy day. First off, deployment is fast approaching and since this is my first one there is alot of uncertainty. I don't know how much everyone keeps up with the news, but the CO of my Hubs ship has been relieved of his post. *My Hubs has asked me not to comment on the situation so I will abide by his wishes.* But you can imagine how the whole C.O. issue has been looming over our heads for the past week. 

The next Navy related issue I had was dealing with the tailors at the NEX. My Hubs managed to mess up the zipper on a pair of his coveralls. Since I have zero skills in sewing I wanted someone to replace or fix the zipper. Well the NEX tailors told me it would take 2 weeks BUT if I wanted to buy an ENTIRE NEW UNIFORM they could get it to me in a week. MMmm I think someone is after our hard-earned money? So on a suggestion from one of the Play Group moms, I went to Stacey's Tailoring and Alterations. Not only did she fix the zipper on the spot, she didn't even charge me! For any of you ladies in the Virginia Beach area that need alterations, go see her! She's off Lynnhaven near the intersection at Great Neck. 

Lastly, I needed a refill on my BC. That's birth control by the way. I had my Navy provider write out a prescription for me since there was a 2 hour wait to get it filled the day of my appointment. Since she didn't allow me to bring Little Miss to the appointment, I had to get a friend to babysit. Hence, why I didn't want to wait for 2 hours. So anyways I dropped the prescription off, did some grocery shopping, and came back to pick it up. Well, the pharmacist said Tricare wouldn't fill the BC until February. I must have looked like I was about to have a breakdown (I know I was on the verge of tears) because the kind pharmacist said if I was willing to wait a little longer she would call Tricare and see what she could do for me. Come to find out, Tricare can't count. She pointed out their adding error, they STILL argued with her, and they ended up giving me a 2 month supply instead of the normal 3 month supply. I wish I could have talked to them, I would have just pointed out the obvious: Either you refill my BC or you will be paying for a baby in 9 months. I thanked the pharmacist profusely, I even told her that my Hubs will be very thankful too! She kind of blushed when I said that, but I mean HELLO he is deploying soon what the heck do you think we'll be doing? 


Then I came home to fight the food wars with Little Miss. We've started adding more solids that she can eat on her own. Now she thinks she's entitled to whatever me and the Hubs are eating. I don't know why she thinks that, I go out of my way to give Little Miss her own plate. Anyways, she has been getting over a cold and her appetite has disappeared. It re-emerged today but she only wants yogurt and whatever Mommy & Daddy are eating. So every time we eat, I make a point of putting Little Miss in her high chair with her own food so we are all eating at the same time. Usually this trick works. But not today. She screamed the entire time. I gave her some of those Gerber graduates ravioli that they are supposed to eat with their hands. It was something new, I usually try really hard to stick to feeding her organic stuff but I was desperate. She ended up refusing the pasta so I made her some beans, rice, and peas. Needless to say, its been a long day!

Project Gratitude Day 2:
With all the problems I ran into because of the military today, there were 2 amazing civilians that brightened my day. Thanks Stacey and the pharmacist at Farm Fresh! I appreciate your patience, you both really made my day.