Monday, September 10, 2012

Unintentional To-Do List

I am a big fan of "To-Do" lists. On my laptop's home-screen I have two of them: A weekly list and an overall list. I find the lists help keep me on track and it feels really good to take items off the list once they are completed. 

"To-Do" lists are especially popular amongst the milispouse community when you s/o is deployed. I learned this last deployment. It seems to help time pass quicker when you are busy! As this final deployment is coming to an end, my list is getting very short. I look back at my list, I am very excited to have been able to accomplish so much. I am proud to say that during both of these deployment I was able to complete my lists each time. 

However, this deployment there is another list. This one I refer to as my Unintentional To-Do List. Its not aptly named because its not as if this was some sort of list I was hoping to accomplish, rather its a list of things I accomplished that I didn't set out to do. 

This deployment has been a lot harder personally than the last one. Quite a few mishaps and unfortunate life events happened in the last 6 months. Some are serious and some a downright hilarious:

Pulled my right quadricep muscle and was on crutches. I had to stay away from the gym for 4 weeks!
Replaced 10 light bulbs, I guess there was a power surge? We even use those light bulbs that are supposed to last 7 years!

Dealt with grown women spreading lies and attacking me personally, gossiping like teenagers. I am accustomed to the occasional gossip, but this was ridiculous. I had to learn the best way to deal with these irrational people is to ignore them which is much harder than it seems. I desperately wanted to fight back and defend myself, but when you are dealing with unreasonable people it is useless to try and reason with them. I am glad to report that ignoring them truly did work. They may not have totally quit talking about me, but its gone back to a tolerable level. My friends say these gossipers are just jealous. I don't see what they have to be jealous of, I'm a pretty average person. I just don't see how anything I do can be fabulous enough to gossip about.  

I have utilized my emergency roadside assistance 6 times in 6 months, mostly to jump start Hubs car. His car stays parked in the garage but I have to move it in order to take out the garbage every week. I've left his car door open a few times too many... 

Learned to jump start a car myself as a result.

Dealt with the death of a close family member for the first time, my father-in-law.

I had to send my first Red Cross message. I tell people how to do this all the time, but this was my first time experiencing it first hand.

Learned the procedure for emergency leave. Let me rephrase, I understood the procedure but I believe you don't truly know something until you have lived it. Yes, I was able to see my husband in the midst of a deployment but I would rather Hubs been deployed for a year and his father still be alive than have him come home early because his father died.

Have put over 8,000 miles on my car as a result of emergency family situations across the country. I wish airline tickets weren't so darned expensive.

Took my first solo road trip with Little Miss. We even managed to get into our first car accident in my new car, it wasn't my fault!

Attempted a solo emergency road trip for an emergency custody hearing for my niece, but an hour from home a piece of tire retread was thrown at my windshield at 60mph causing it to shatter. Scariest. Thing. Ever!

So that means my car was in the repair shop twice in a 2 week period. Go ahead and laugh, I do!

Took my first emergency road trip for the emergency custody hearing for my niece with a friend and two 2 year olds. I now HATE tolls and thank the heavens for portable DVD players.

Learned new acronyms like ICPC and DCF. I have seen firsthand how harsh drug addiction can be, how people love the drugs more than they care about the well-being of their own children. Drugs Addiction really does warp someone's mind and their sense of reality.

Learned how to keep my emotions in check. I am generally a very emotional person and will cry at the drop of a hat. I had to my husband's rock when his dad died and I have to be rational & reasonable when it comes to dealing with the on-going situation with my niece (and future niece/nephew).

I have twice potty trained a toddler! I only intended on potty training her once...

I had to say good-bye to a close friend who PTS'd overseas. So now I'm learning how to keep up with a friend that is so far away for so long :(

I had to conquer my fear of spiders to exterminate all of them outside my house. I had one the size of my hand in our back yard that laid 2 huge egg sacs. I was constantly seeing massive spider webs in the front yard. It was so bad I didn't let Little Miss go outside and I was afraid to go out there as well. I had to suck it up and spray down the house *twice* and knock down all the webs. It gives me the creepy crawlies thinking about it!

Through the ups and downs of this deployment, I have discovered who my true friends are. They are the ones that call or text or email to check up on me (and really mean it!), offer to watch Little Miss so I can take care of things, and drop everything to drive me 10 hours to a court hearing. Because of a select group of people, I have not been alone in dealing with anything this deployment. I thought I had already learned who my friends were, but this deployment has reminded me that friendships change over time. Some friendships get stronger while some start to fade away. There are certain people that are meant to be in your life for a long time, while others are only meant to be there for a brief time.

I hope the remaining sliver of this deployment goes by uneventfully. But I have to remind myself that everything in life happens for a reason (or so I believe!). All of the issues that I've endured in the last 6 months is in preparation for what lies ahead in my life.

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