Full of Happiness

Today has been an amazing day. I haven't felt this good in a really long time, well with preparing for deployment its as gloomy as preparing for a funeral. We had our first FRG meeting today since our sailors left and I left feeling filled with happiness! For me the FRG was the first group of people that really embraced me. Ever since it has been my goal to help out other women and tonight I felt like I paid it forward. It was great to see such a large turnout today too. Everyone was so interested to get every bit of information they could about what was going on with the ship and what activities we had planned. We were able to hear from the CO and I actually teared up for the first time since Hubs left. I was thinking, this man is on the ship with my husband, they are thousands of miles away but I felt so much closer to Hubs when the CO called. I was able to talk to so many wonderful women after the meeting and hear their stories. It is positive encounters like this that keep me going and I am sure I am not the only one that feels this way. I am just so overfilled with joy right now. This deployment is starting to look easier to deal with every day.

New Years Letter to Hubs

My Hubs has duty today so he won't be here to ring in the New Year with a midnight kiss. When he has duty we try to at least exchange emails to keep in touch. I decided since I wasn't going to sit down and say this to him in person, I wrote an email instead!

Dearest Hubs,

Since today is the last day of 2010, I have been reflecting back on everything that has happened this year. It has been a year full of changes, adjustments, and compromises. But best of all, you were there every step of the way. January came with a rough start: We were adjusting to being parents, moved to a new area with a 2 month old, and you officially reported to your first ship. I was surfing the waves of hormone changes and weight loss thanks to post-pregnancy and you were working long hours plus dealing with tunnel traffic while the ship was in the yards. Lets face it, January & February were pretty rough. I know I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around. I missed my husband and I was feeling trapped in our house with Little Miss. Finally your ship left the yards and I ventured out of the house and made some new friends. Little Miss started at The Little Gym at the end of February and I also went to my first FRG meeting. Both of those events were HUGE blessings. Because of The Little Gym, my relationship with LIttle Miss has flourished and so has her personality! I have met an amazing group of mom's through The Little Gym. They are so supportive, drama-free, intelligent, and fun! The FRG has also helped me out tremendously because of the friendships I have made. I never would have met the Bestie had it not been for the FRG! I know these friendships have helped to make me a happier person and I have more confidence in myself. Thank you for being supportive and patient with me this year. I know I have not been easy to deal with, you know how well I deal with change...I think I'm getting better though! This year was our official start to being an active duty military family and it wasn't long until the ship moved out of the yards and you started work-ups. As luck would have it, your first work-up was scheduled over our 4th wedding anniversary. I can't believe it has been 4 years already, it seems like only yesterday we were walking down the aisle! So much has changed in 4 years but our relationship has only grown stronger, especially after this year. I know this year has brought alot of challenges for you at work. I see how exhausted you are when you finally get home from work. I appreciate how hard you work to support our family, probably more than you realize or will ever know. I know I've complained about how my life revolves around your schedule, but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. Just know I wouldn't do that for anyone else but you :)

I can't believe how much Little Miss has changed and grown in just a year! I know people told me that would happen, I just didn't really believe them. She has such a big personality already. I am amazed how much she looks like you. So even though you aren't around as much as I'd like, I always have your clone here to keep me company. I still think she came into our lives earlier than we planned for a reason: To help us get through the challenges ahead. You are an amazing father. I'll never forget the first time she saw you get off the ship from a work-up and how tightly she hugged you, how she wouldn't let you go even to get in the carseat. Even though she can't say it yet, she really does love you. I know you don't get as much time with her as you'd like but you've made the most of it and it shows. She is such a good kid and she does really well with the ever-changing schedule that goes with the Navy life. This year she took her first steps, said her first word (Daddy!), and so many other firsts. I can't wait for all the other "firsts" that will come in 2011!

 Little Miss holding on to Daddy after coming home from a work-up

I think one of the biggest challenges for us this year was leaving whatever pissed us off during the day at the doorstep so we could enjoy what time we had together. In 2011, I already know our biggest challenge is going to be our first deployment. The deployment is going to be tough, but we'll get through it just like we've gotten past everything else life has thrown our way. My biggest worry about the deployment isn't the time apart or whether you will be faithful, I already know neither of those are a concern of mine. The time apart is something we've had time to get adjusted to and your faithfulness I will never doubt. I am more worried about how well we will communicate while we are apart. Its not a matter of how many emails/phone calls I get from you. I don't even mind that the emails are only a few sentences. Its that we have to learn to keep our relationship strong in those few sentences. I know already you like hearing about my day in the emails. But I have to be able to share my feelings, hopes, dreams, troubles, and emotions all in a short email. I tend to be quite wordy and long winded. I know you only have a short amount of time to be on the computer so I need to keep my emails short, sweet, and to the point. That will be my biggest challenge (that I can think of) in 2011. I have a few other goals in mind I hope to accomplish in the new year, though its more like things to keep me busy and occupied while you are deployed. I already am looking forward to your homecoming and the time we will get together! I love you so much and I am there with you every step of the way. I look forward to the next year and the new years ahead I get to spend with you :)

Elves and FRG

I wish I were like Santa and had a bunch of little helpers around to do all my Christmas shopping for me! Luckily for me, I have my Bestie to keep me sane at the mall during this crazy time of the year. Yes, I spent 5 hours shopping today and I only have 3 gifts left to buy now! I did well: I didn't buy anything for myself and I only spent about $8-10 per gift...but I did buy Little Miss 3 things! They just had some deals that were too good to pass up, thanks Bath & Body Works for making gifts that smell so good (and for your super sweet coupons)! I came home, organized all the gifts, and as the Bestie was leaving it started snowing. It officially feels like Christmas now.

I got to chat with a few other milispouses today, lots going on this time of year but I was able to make plans to hang out this week. Have I mentioned how thankful I am for the friendships I have made and the amazing milispouses I have met here? We moved here a year ago this month and I have met some of the nicest, strongest, and most inspiring women. I need to give credit where credit is due, I need to thank my FRG for giving me the chance to meet and get to know some great ladies!

Since my first meeting back in February, the FRG embraced me and my family with open arms. This was the FIRST time since I've been a milispouse that I've felt this warm of a reception from fellow wives. They all seemed to be bonded by the fact that their husbands served together and they were willing to let anyone else be a part of the group that shared this same bond. This totally contradicted everything I had heard about FRGs. I heard horror stories about officer's wives running the board and leaving enlisted wives out in the cold. I heard that FRGs caused nothing but drama because of the cliques instead of being a support group. But what I found totally contradicted all of these rumors. The board members were very friendly and never acted like they were better than me just because they were in a position of leadership. I felt like I was their equal and that any suggestion I had, no matter how dumb it was, they would take into consideration. I was invited to all the events and never felt like I was unwanted. I am a self proclaimed dork so I'm used to feeling like the outcast. But with the FRG, I can honestly say I've never felt that way. I was surprised just how busy the FRG kept me while the hubs was gone for workups. They provided ample activities where everyone could be included, whether you had children or not. We had a day at the beach, a picnic at the botanical gardens, numerous dinners out & pot lucks, an ice cream party, a halloween party, and meet & greets. I think the FRG has gone above and beyond to keep us occupied and keep us informed about what is going on with the ship. I consider myself VERY lucky to be a part of such a pleasant group. Of course there are always naysayers with any sort of organization, but I find their problems with our FRG unfounded. I commend everyone that has been a part of our FRG and helped to make it the superb group that it is. 

Maybe the FRG isn't for everyone though (if the rumors I heard prior to moving here are true). All I know are my experiences and thus far they've been magnificent. I hope there are great support groups out there for everyone, whether it is an FRG or just a group of milispouses there to help one another.