Hubs had been home for nearly a month now, the decom ceremony has passed, so this means back to a regular working schedule; well at least until holiday leave.
I have slowly started getting a new routine together. This also means getting Little Miss into a new routine too. For those of you that have never had the pleasure of forcing a 3 year old to do something...let me tell you, it isn't easy. My crazy toddler wants to stay up until midnight and sleep until 10am. But when Hubs goes to bed by 8pm (I know, I know he's an old man shhh don't tell him I said that!) and is up by 4am, I either go without much sleep or I get very little alone time with him. And since we are trying to add on to our little family, alone time is a valuable thing right now.
We have been keeping to ourselves for the last month. It has been nice to just hang out at home when Hubs is around and on duty days I do the cleaning, laundry, and errands. Hubs has seen almost all of the Disney princess movies now. Little Miss helps her Daddy fight animals on his video game. I know it doesn't sound fabulous and exotic, but its just heaven to me. We even found time to update our family photos, its been nearly 2 years since we've taken any!
The pictures turned out great!!
However with all of this focusing on family time, I feel have neglected my friends. As much as I love you guys, it has been nice to just shut the world out and enjoy my little family. I promise this week I will start being more attentive, returning texts and phone calls...updating my blog...
This upcoming week will be a challenge for us, working my friends, gym time, and Little Miss's play dates back into our schedule along with working days for Hubs. This is always the hardest part of reintegration for me. Getting my day started early enough so I can complete all of my to-do's before Hubs gets home from work....Wish me luck!
I have been totally neglecting my blog the last 3 weeks! Life has been so busy...
HUBS IS HOME!!
He had pull-in duty so I missed the madness at the pier. We were lucky enough to have our own private homecoming the next day with the pier all to ourselves.
Amazing.
We also had Little Miss's birthday party. That is a whole other blog post, I want to share the last of the DIY tutorials (goodie bags) and pictures from the party!
We are also dealing with reintegration. I am happy to report we are doing much better than last time. We learned alot from our first reintegration, we mostly learned what NOT to do actually LOL. I made sure not to overplan our days and be as flexible as possible. If things don't go as planned, meh it happens. My words of advise: Be easygoing, don't sweat the small stuff, and communicate. If I need Hubs to do something, I honestly have to spell it out for him. He wasn't a mind reader before deployment and he sure isn't one now! He has been gone 15 out of the last 22 months. While I would love for him to anticipate what I need done around the house or what I need help with, he honestly hasn't been around enough to know. Time to retrain him, hehehe.
We did have a minor setback with Little Miss's potty training, she has been completely potty trained for about 2 months then about a week after Hubs came home she just started having accidents for 2 days. But now things are back to normal as far as that goes.
We have been just hanging out at home, taking care of stuff around here. Hubs is on 3 section duty, which means he goes into work once every 3 days for his overnight. Its actually a pretty good thing, this gives me a day to run errands and clean the house while he is at work. And do laundry...I did not realize how much clothing that man goes through! Plus, he brings home a sea bag full of crap after every duty day it seems (they are moving out of berthing right now in preparation of decom).
Well that's all I got for now, time to go back into hiding!
Okay not really hiding, I will be back to blogging more and slowly adding everything back into my routine. But for now, I am content keeping the world at arms length :)
As this deployment is coming to an end, I am experiencing a plethora of emotions. Of course I am excited, anxious, and relieved. However there are a few unexpected emotions: Guilt and Worry.
I have made no secret that reintegration from the last deployment was tough for Hubs and I. It didn't really help that we already knew there was another deployment on the horizon so I don't feel we were really able to work on our issues, we just kind of patched them up. This lengthy deployment has really given us the opportunity to fix things from a distance, but the true test will be once he gets home. Actions speak louder than words folks. Its an uphill climb, but I am very confident we can work through it. At least this time reintegration will be for good, no more deployments for us!
Now for the guilt part. No, I didn't do anything that scandalous! My guilt stems from spending money on myself instead of stashing it into savings. Last deployment, we were able to set aside a good bit of money. But the deployment was totally different. They only made 3 port stops. I had ZERO emergencies. Of course I was able to save money. This deployment was very different: there were 8 port stops and I had 2 car accidents, an emergency trip to Massachusetts, and a few other problems. I am at a point in my life where I am finally comfortable in clothes, I kind of actually love how I look in them. So I bought some clothes...and shoes....and makeup....and hair products...and workout stuff....and now I feel guilty that instead of putting money into savings that I spent money on myself. My closet was filled with clothes that were either too big or were from my college days! I had a very good excuse to update.
Do I think that I went overboard with my spending? To be honest, not really. Granted my closet is packed tight but its not any bigger than most of my friends. I wear all of my clothes, its not like I bought something then never wear it again.
Even though I can explain away why I shouldn't feel this way, I still do. Even though I have nothing to worry about, I am still worried. Even though I have no reason to feel guilty about actually spending money on myself, I still do.
What will make me feel better? When I pick up Hubs from the pier.
Hubs came home this week after a 5 week underway and now the next event on the horizon is the dreaded deployment. While it is so great to have him home, it is tough not to think about having him be away for so long again. I feel like we just got off the deployment roller-coaster, I mean July wasn't that long ago right? Our relationship survived the deployment like a champ; we didn't get into any arguments and we were able to make the most of emails, care packages, Skype, and phone calls. Reintegration was rough, I am not going to sugar coat it. To be honest, I don't feel like we were able to complete the reintegration process before Hubs left again in December (or was it November?). We still have issues we are working through and it almost seems like a waste of energy to worry about them because we will have to go through this whole process again at the end of the year.
I am trying my hardest not to be frustrated and just focus on making the most of the time we have left together. I have a few good things going for me: I have a few trips home planned, I have a few visitors coming to see me, I have a smart plan for the extra money we will make, and most importantly THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY OUR LAST DEPLOYMENT! I learned a few things on the last deployment so I know what to do to make it through this one. For one, I think I kept myself too busy last time. I need to spend more time at home and crafting is a great excuse for me to do that! I have discovered I really enjoy making things like baby blankets, clothes, and wreaths. My big plan for the deployment is to make Little Miss a bedding set for her "big girl" bed! I plan on focusing more on Little Miss: I want to start doing some home-schooling activities with her once or twice a week. Not to brag, but she can count to 15, recite the alphabet, and she even recognizes the letters & numbers now. She is showing me how eager she is to learn and I need to nurture that. I am not one of those pushy mommas, but if she hows an interest in something I want to do all that I can to indulge it. In January, I started a new workout routine where I am working on building muscle and getting lean. With the help of my trainer, my body fat is in the ideal range for my age and now I want to look as strong as I feel. In 2 years, I have lost 65 lbs. I think I look better than I did in my high school/college years. I want to keep heading in a positive direction and see just how much I can improve my body and health. It really helps me get past the frustration I feel about deployment when I think of all the things I can accomplish. This is an opportunity for me to learn and grow as a person, how many times in your life do you get that chance?
I am also very fortunate to have a great group of friends here to support me. You ladies know who you are and I cannot ever thank you enough for helping me maintain my sanity!
Its that time again to put on my big girl panties, plaster a smile on my face, and fake it until I make it! For the next few week, I will do my best to ignore that little voice in the back of my mind reminding me of the inevitable. It does no good for me to worry and stress about events that cannot be changed. We've made it through one deployment, we will make it through another. We didn't quite ace the reintegration but luckily we will have another shot at it.
Don't forget to check out the Giveaway I have going on right now!
