My Hubs has duty today so he won't be here to ring in the New Year with a midnight kiss. When he has duty we try to at least exchange emails to keep in touch. I decided since I wasn't going to sit down and say this to him in person, I wrote an email instead!
Since today is the last day of 2010, I have been reflecting back on everything that has happened this year. It has been a year full of changes, adjustments, and compromises. But best of all, you were there every step of the way. January came with a rough start: We were adjusting to being parents, moved to a new area with a 2 month old, and you officially reported to your first ship. I was surfing the waves of hormone changes and weight loss thanks to post-pregnancy and you were working long hours plus dealing with tunnel traffic while the ship was in the yards. Lets face it, January & February were pretty rough. I know I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around. I missed my husband and I was feeling trapped in our house with Little Miss. Finally your ship left the yards and I ventured out of the house and made some new friends. Little Miss started at The Little Gym at the end of February and I also went to my first FRG meeting. Both of those events were HUGE blessings. Because of The Little Gym, my relationship with LIttle Miss has flourished and so has her personality! I have met an amazing group of mom's through The Little Gym. They are so supportive, drama-free, intelligent, and fun! The FRG has also helped me out tremendously because of the friendships I have made. I never would have met the Bestie had it not been for the FRG! I know these friendships have helped to make me a happier person and I have more confidence in myself. Thank you for being supportive and patient with me this year. I know I have not been easy to deal with, you know how well I deal with change...I think I'm getting better though! This year was our official start to being an active duty military family and it wasn't long until the ship moved out of the yards and you started work-ups. As luck would have it, your first work-up was scheduled over our 4th wedding anniversary. I can't believe it has been 4 years already, it seems like only yesterday we were walking down the aisle! So much has changed in 4 years but our relationship has only grown stronger, especially after this year. I know this year has brought alot of challenges for you at work. I see how exhausted you are when you finally get home from work. I appreciate how hard you work to support our family, probably more than you realize or will ever know. I know I've complained about how my life revolves around your schedule, but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. Just know I wouldn't do that for anyone else but you :)
I can't believe how much Little Miss has changed and grown in just a year! I know people told me that would happen, I just didn't really believe them. She has such a big personality already. I am amazed how much she looks like you. So even though you aren't around as much as I'd like, I always have your clone here to keep me company. I still think she came into our lives earlier than we planned for a reason: To help us get through the challenges ahead. You are an amazing father. I'll never forget the first time she saw you get off the ship from a work-up and how tightly she hugged you, how she wouldn't let you go even to get in the carseat. Even though she can't say it yet, she really does love you. I know you don't get as much time with her as you'd like but you've made the most of it and it shows. She is such a good kid and she does really well with the ever-changing schedule that goes with the Navy life. This year she took her first steps, said her first word (Daddy!), and so many other firsts. I can't wait for all the other "firsts" that will come in 2011!
Little Miss holding on to Daddy after coming home from a work-up
I think one of the biggest challenges for us this year was leaving whatever pissed us off during the day at the doorstep so we could enjoy what time we had together. In 2011, I already know our biggest challenge is going to be our first deployment. The deployment is going to be tough, but we'll get through it just like we've gotten past everything else life has thrown our way. My biggest worry about the deployment isn't the time apart or whether you will be faithful, I already know neither of those are a concern of mine. The time apart is something we've had time to get adjusted to and your faithfulness I will never doubt. I am more worried about how well we will communicate while we are apart. Its not a matter of how many emails/phone calls I get from you. I don't even mind that the emails are only a few sentences. Its that we have to learn to keep our relationship strong in those few sentences. I know already you like hearing about my day in the emails. But I have to be able to share my feelings, hopes, dreams, troubles, and emotions all in a short email. I tend to be quite wordy and long winded. I know you only have a short amount of time to be on the computer so I need to keep my emails short, sweet, and to the point. That will be my biggest challenge (that I can think of) in 2011. I have a few other goals in mind I hope to accomplish in the new year, though its more like things to keep me busy and occupied while you are deployed. I already am looking forward to your homecoming and the time we will get together! I love you so much and I am there with you every step of the way. I look forward to the next year and the new years ahead I get to spend with you :)