Hubs came home this week after a 5 week underway and now the next event on the horizon is the dreaded deployment. While it is so great to have him home, it is tough not to think about having him be away for so long again. I feel like we just got off the deployment roller-coaster, I mean July wasn't that long ago right? Our relationship survived the deployment like a champ; we didn't get into any arguments and we were able to make the most of emails, care packages, Skype, and phone calls. Reintegration was rough, I am not going to sugar coat it. To be honest, I don't feel like we were able to complete the reintegration process before Hubs left again in December (or was it November?). We still have issues we are working through and it almost seems like a waste of energy to worry about them because we will have to go through this whole process again at the end of the year.
I am trying my hardest not to be frustrated and just focus on making the most of the time we have left together. I have a few good things going for me: I have a few trips home planned, I have a few visitors coming to see me, I have a smart plan for the extra money we will make, and most importantly THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY OUR LAST DEPLOYMENT! I learned a few things on the last deployment so I know what to do to make it through this one. For one, I think I kept myself too busy last time. I need to spend more time at home and crafting is a great excuse for me to do that! I have discovered I really enjoy making things like baby blankets, clothes, and wreaths. My big plan for the deployment is to make Little Miss a bedding set for her "big girl" bed! I plan on focusing more on Little Miss: I want to start doing some home-schooling activities with her once or twice a week. Not to brag, but she can count to 15, recite the alphabet, and she even recognizes the letters & numbers now. She is showing me how eager she is to learn and I need to nurture that. I am not one of those pushy mommas, but if she hows an interest in something I want to do all that I can to indulge it. In January, I started a new workout routine where I am working on building muscle and getting lean. With the help of my trainer, my body fat is in the ideal range for my age and now I want to look as strong as I feel. In 2 years, I have lost 65 lbs. I think I look better than I did in my high school/college years. I want to keep heading in a positive direction and see just how much I can improve my body and health. It really helps me get past the frustration I feel about deployment when I think of all the things I can accomplish. This is an opportunity for me to learn and grow as a person, how many times in your life do you get that chance?
I am also very fortunate to have a great group of friends here to support me. You ladies know who you are and I cannot ever thank you enough for helping me maintain my sanity!
Its that time again to put on my big girl panties, plaster a smile on my face, and fake it until I make it! For the next few week, I will do my best to ignore that little voice in the back of my mind reminding me of the inevitable. It does no good for me to worry and stress about events that cannot be changed. We've made it through one deployment, we will make it through another. We didn't quite ace the reintegration but luckily we will have another shot at it.
Don't forget to check out the Giveaway I have going on right now!