Thursday, September 22, 2011
Deployment #2 on the Horizon
It finally set in the Deployment #2 is coming up fast. I haven't even really had a chance to adjust to Hubs being home; He came home with an inguinal hernia so standing up for long periods of time bothered him, lifting Little Miss hurt, as well as a long list of other things. It definitely limited what we could do once he came home. He finally had the double hernia repaired last week and he's on 2 weeks of bedrest. So yes, he has been home, but his ass has been planted on the couch until he heals. By the time he is fully healed up, it'll be time for him to leave again but hopefully for the last time.
My husband warned me before the deployment that some marriages don't make it. Not that he had any doubts about us, but he wanted me to be prepared for it when I saw friends' marriages break. Seasoned Navy wives told me the same thing. I guess distance doesn't always make the heart grow fonder.
But I was prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for, was coping with life AFTER deployment. I'm not going to sugar coat things, it isn't easy. I've seen more relationships break after deployment than while the ship was away. This totally blows me away, even though things haven't been all sunshine and rainbows since Hubs has been home it hasn't been anything catastrophic. I don't think a day goes by that we don't argue about something. No major huge fights or anything like that, it generally goes like this: "Did you really not wash off your dish before you put it in the dishwasher?!" or "Why can't you put your dirty clothes IN the laundry basket instead of right outside it?". See nothing too serious. Hubs has actually been super helpful since he came home: He cleans the kitchen every night after I make dinner, he takes out the garbage and takes care of the furry kids without me asking, we wash our cars once a week now, he even volunteers to vacuum or mow the lawn before I even ask. But I do have to admit, life with Hubs home is a different kind of tough then when he was away.
When he was gone, we missed each other like crazy and the distance was kind of romanticized. I was counting down to the hour to his return. The first week was pretty damn near perfect, minus the whole hernia thing. Then real life started back. I had to share MY space, there was someone snoring in MY bed. There was another mouth to feed. Another person to fight over the TV with. I know there were adjustments on Hubs end too, he was used to being told what to do daily. Then he came home and I wanted him to plan everything because I was tired of planning daily activities for over 6 months. We are getting used to be around one another again.
I had just assumed life to return to the way it was before he left. But I should have known that would've been impossible. Life happens during deployment. We both had to change and adapt to our new circumstances. I had to become more independent and self-reliant. Hubs experiences on the ship changed him as well. Now its just a matter of embracing the "new us". And I had better do that pretty quick-like before Hubs leaves again!
For those of you out there that are having a hard time adjusting to your sailor being home or if you are having any sort of problems, you have resources available to you for FREE! Please check out Fleet and Family Support, they offer confidential counseling by professional, licensed clinicians that is free of charge to active duty personnel and family members.