Monday, December 13, 2010

Making the best of it

One of my biggest pet peeves has to be last minute changes in plans. Lucky for me, I have the Navy to reprogram me so I can deal with this problem. The Hubs came home unexpectedly yesterday, I thought he had pull-in duty. Not that I'm complaining that he came home. I had planned on spending the whole day preparing the house, Little Miss, and myself for his homecoming. I was able to get everything done despite his early arrival. The weather was quite gloomy so we just stayed in, watching episodes of GLEE that he missed while he was away. I actually cooked dinner and it turned out well! He had to report back today so our time together was short, but sweet. I used to get so mad when his schedule only allowed us hours together. With the deployment on the horizon though I'm making an extra effort not to "sweat the small stuff". 

I started thinking last night what the deployment really will be like. I mean, if I think I am playing single mom now, how will I feel once the Hubs leaves? How well will we be able to communicate while he is gone? That is my biggest worry. When he is home, I feel we communicate very well. We are open and honest with one another. But so far we haven't communicated very well during the work-up period. For example: He swears up and down he told me in an email that he no longer had pull in duty this time. Yah. Right. Other than that sort of information, we have to learn to maintain our bond through email. I'm actually better at putting my feelings in writing than saying it. But for the Hubs, not so much. I don't know if he thinks it'll sound dumb or what. I'm not expecting love letters from him daily or even weekly. I don't expect a 3 page essay on the depths of his love for me. Just something beyond "I love you" once in a while. I'm not that insecure; He obviously loves me and is devoted to our marriage. But I find that women need reminders, especially this woman. I guess there are worse things I could be worried about when it comes to deployment. Trust me, I've heard my share of horror stories about unfaithful spouses. That is not a concern of mine. Not at all. 
So I guess after thinking about the bigger things that could worry me, my problem doesn't seem so bad. Plus, worrying now isn't going to make things any easier. Only time will tell how well we communicate while he is gone.

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