Thursday, January 20, 2011


Bullying is a form of abuse. It involves repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one person's (or group's) power over another person (or group) , thus an "imbalance of power". The "imbalance of power" may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target. Bullying types of behavior are often rooted in a would-be bully's inability to empathize with those whom he or she would target. Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal and physical.- Wikipedia

At least once a week I hear something on the news about bullying. This is such a terrible epidemic that is ripping through jr. high's and high school's across the country. Personally, this hits close to home. I was first bullied in jr. high. I was made fun of on a daily basis in gym class. I didn't wear Nike shoes. My clothes were from WalMart. I wore glasses, had bad skin, didn't wear makeup, and I was smart. Apparently this made me an easy target for bullies. I came home every day from school crying. Both boys and girls would tease me. I had a huge crush on a very popular boy and they tormented me about that. I was called all sorts of names and made fun of for reasons beyond my control. I was so humiliated, why couldn't they just be nice to me? I never did anything to them, I was too afraid to even say anything back when they teased me. I had no friends, all I had were my books. By the time I got to high school, I made a few friends through baton and on the flag team. The teasing stopped, but then the rumors started. I dated a boy for 3 years in high school and I lost my virginity to him. It was way too early but that story is for another day. Unfortunately, the guy gets congratulated and the girl gets the bad reputation. While I wasn't labeled a slut, I had a few guys try and date me because they thought they would get lucky. I ended up kicking one in the man parts. After graduation, I was the flag team instructor at my old high school while I was attending college. Now I started dealing with bullying from ADULTS. Ladies and men in their 30's and 40's attacked me verbally. People that I grew up admiring tried to take me down because I was now their competition. I received hate mail and had to contact the police. Thank goodness I had Mr. B around to help me through this difficult time. He taught me that the bullies only have the power over you if you let them. I am once again faced with bullying but now I am an adult. The lessons I learned growing up will serve me well. 

Bullying has gotten out of hand, in both children and adults. In my experience, adult bullies get other people to gang up on one or more people as a way of exerting control. They are insecure, selfish, jealous, and they lack empathy. They want attention no matter whether its positive or negative. Sometimes they incite other people to act out aggressively and sit back to watch the show. They form groups that pick and choose members at random and exclude others without real reason. They form alliances with other social groups in an effort to jockey for popularity and positions of power among peers. 

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself." -Harvey S. Firestone

"After all of the fights and the lies, Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore,'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture, I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down, So I wanna say thank you, 'Cause it makes me that much stronger, Makes me work a little bit harder, Makes me that much wiser, So thanks for making me a fighter, Made me learn a little bit faster, Made my skin a little bit thicker,
It makes me that much smarter, So thanks for making me a fighter"
-Christina Aguilera "Fighter"

Don't take bullying in any form from anyone. Don't allow someone else to be bullied either, stand up for one another there really is strength in numbers. Don't bully the bully, fighting never solves anything. Try to do the opposite and befriend them or just kill 'em with kindness! If that doesn't work, just ignore them because they aren't worth your time or thoughts. Just think this is easier to deal with as an adult than when we were kids.


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